Happy Pride Month and Happy National Sex Day!
Similar to our discussion on Gender Identities, in the effort of full disclosure and to ensure minimum backlash for this post, I am by no means an expert on sex, gender, or expression of either. I am a demi-bisexual, heteroromantic woman. Should any of what is said in the post below offend you or be inaccurate, LET ME KNOW! Give me all the criticism and help me learn. Who better to learn it from than the people that live it daily?
Sexual orientation is the romantic and/or sexual attraction to a subset of people. Included in these subsets are heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, and a subset of miscellaneous sexualities ranging from asexuality to pansexuality. While sexual orientation may be romantic and sexual attraction, keep in mind that a person’s sexual attraction and romantic attraction may differ. Also, like Gender Identities, this discussion is not all-inclusive.
Defining yourself with a specific sexual orientation isn’t required. Those who have an evolving or fluctuating sexuality or someone who doesn’t necessarily fit in the little boxes that society has created for each orientation may define themselves as Queer. While I was doing my research, there were so many definitions and conversations around “queer”, however, this definition was the most used. Keep in mind, too, that this term is being reclaimed by the LGBTQA+ community as it used to be — and still is — used as a slur against those who were not heterosexual.
- Queer: an overarching term for all of the LGBTQA+.
Let’s start with the sexual orientations that the majority of the population know. Attraction to one of the sexes or genders is included in the below sexualities and, less straight, are part of the LG part of LGBTQA+.
- Straight: being attracted to the opposite sex or gender.
- Gay: being attracted to the same sex or gender, traditionally a male attracted to other males.
- Lesbian: being a female attracted to other females.
Sexuality doesn’t have to be as straight and narrow as being attracted to one sex or the other. Some people are attracted to two or more sexes or genders, whether it is an equal attraction or an attraction to one gender over another. Bisexuality and its subsets are included in the B part of LGBTQA+.
- Bisexual: being attracted to two or more sexes or genders.
- Heteroflexible: being attracted to the opposite sex or gender but sometimes finding the same sex or gender appealing.
- Homoflexible: being attracted to the same sex or gender but sometimes finding the opposite sex or gender appealing.
Sexuality isn’t all or nothing, though for some that’s exactly how they define their sexuality. A person’s sexuality doesn’t have to rely on the main two sexes or gender. There is an attraction to no person of any gender, attraction to a person regardless of their gender, and even attraction to multiple people regardless of their genders, sexuality. These sexualities are included in the A+ part of LGBTQA+.
- Pansexual: being attracted to any person without regard to sex or gender.
- Polysexual: being attracted to multiple, but not all, sexes or genders.
- Asexual: being attracted to no person of any sex or gender.
Sexuality isn’t set in stone. We hear every day about a person ‘coming out’ or even not knowing how they feel about their sexuality. The Q part of LGBTQA+ includes Fluctuating/Evolving and Questioning persons.
- Fluctuating/Evolving: having a sexual orientation which varies over time.
- Questioning: being unsure of the specific sexual orientation to which one identifies.
There’s controversy in the lifestyle regarding two sexual orientations. I came across them the first time on OkCupid. The controversy with these orientations is that they aren’t assigned to a specific sex and/or gender, like all other orientations, but to a specific type of person. Sapiosexual and demisexual fall under the non-sexual orientations.
- Sapiosexual: being attracted to another’s mind over all other aspects (could be considered a fetish rather than a sexual orientation).
- Demisexual: being attracted to another once a greater bond is formed.
If you’re looking for a great show to watch with an episode on Sex, watch Bill Nye Saves the World’s episode “The Sexual Expression“. It’s on Netflix. It’s fantastic! Here’s a clip from YouTube to give you an idea of the episode:
Sexual Orientations vary from person to person and no person has the same orientation as another. The glossary has been updated with each of these definitions as well. So, tell me, how do you identify? Tell me you!
Updates Coming: Megasexual & Skoliosexual