I am still on my How I Met Your Mother kick. Admittedly, I paused watching it to watch Psych, because one, there was supposed to be a new Psych movie released in December (it got pushed back) and two, my Hulu kept fucking up and the sound and video would be off. It was like watching a poorly dubbed Japanese anime. Anyhoo, I just watched the episode where Lily challenges herself to make a list of 50 Reasons to Have Sex. She writes it on a MacLarent’s Irish Pub napkin, which was featured on the CBS website while the show was still airing. You can find the image of the napkin (below) still floating around the internet, but for shits and giggles, here’s the entire list of Reasons to Have Sex by Lily Aldrin.
- Because you can’t get to sleep
- Make-up sex
- Break-up sex
- Your friend told you about a new position
- Revenge
- Rebound
- Para trooping/bangin’ for roof
- Nothing good on TV
- Because you’re in a hotel
- Curiosity
- It’s raining
- It’s halftime
- Diet / exercise
- Celebrate recent weight loss
- You finally get the chance to show your childhood bed some action
- Prom night
- You’re already at their place and don’t want to have to move your car
- Show off new lingerie
- Celebrate major victory by favorite team and/or political candidate
- Your chance to do it in a specific location (ex. airplane, Burger King bathroom)
- To prove we’re not in a rut
- Stress relief
- Just shaved legs
- Forgot to buy a birthday present
- “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye is playing on the radio
- Celebrating the joy of life after a near-death experience
- Your one chance with a celebrity
- Time an egg
- To avoid cleaning, studying or doing work of any kind
- She wants to
- It’s cold outside
- Cheer someone up (pity)
- Keeping up with the neighbors
- Your roommate is out of town and you can do it on the couch
- Some very protected sex to celebrate the fact that I’m not / we’re not / you’re not pregnant
- Practice
- They have air conditioning and you don’t
- Because he/she is from one of the countries you haven’t had sex with a person from yet
- “Damn, your calves look good in those cargo shorts” sex
- Called/texted the wrong person but she was into it anyway
- Because she looks like your superhot cousin and this is the closest it will ever get to it being okay
- Breaking in a new apartment
- Because he says he loves you and you’re not ready to say it back yet
- Wingman diving on the friend grenade
- Your condoms are about to expire
- It’s getting a little hard
- Miscommunication (Cheetos sex)
- To reinforce good behavior (such as shaving and dental hygiene)
- To change the subject
- Love ♥
Image by Niek Verlaan from Pixabay