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In a perfect world, COVID (WEAR YOUR FUCKING MASK 😷!) and the resulting quarantine would have given me all the time to read every book on my bookshelf plus some. In reality, I have read two books — one in January and one in April — and have started three others. In an attempt to increase that number, I decided it was time to share some material on the lifestyle umbrella non-monogamy.
Check out the 36 books on consensual nonmonogamy, polyamory, open relationships, and swinging. The list below is a cumulative of recommendations from fellow lifestylists, Goodreads lists on the subject matter, and an Amazon search for books on the topic. The bolded and italicized books on the list are ones that I hear discussed and recommended often in the community.
I have not read any of these! What is wrong with me?! 😱😱😱
Do I miss one? Comment below if you have any you’d like to add!
Title
|
Author
|
A Therapist’s Guide to Consensual Nonmonogamy |
Rhea Orion |
The Art and Etiquette of Polyamory: A Hands-on Guide to Open Sexual Relationships |
Françoise Simpère |
Ask Me About Polyamory: The Best of Kimchi Cuddles |
Tikva Wolf |
Compersion: Polyamory Beyond Jealousy |
Hypatia from Space |
Dealing with Difficult Metamours |
Page Turner |
Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships |
Mark A. Michaels |
Eight Things I Wish I’d Known About Polyamory: Before I Tried It and Frakked It Up |
Cunning Minx |
The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures |
Dossie Easton |
The Husband Swap & Lessons in Love and Life to My Younger Self |
Louisa Leontiades, Eve Rickert |
It’s Called “Polyamory”: Coming Out About Your Nonmonogamous Relationships |
Tamara Pincus, Rebecca Hiles |
Let’s Talk About…Non-Monogamy: Questions and Conversation Starters for Couples Exploring Open Relationships, Swinging, or Polyamory |
J.R. James |
Love in Abundance: A Counselor’s Advice on Open Relationships |
Kathy Labriola |
Love’s Not Color Blind: Race and Representation in Polyamorous and Other Alternative Communities |
Kevin A. Patterson |
Love’s Refraction: Jealousy and Compersion in Queer Women’s Polyamorous Relationships |
Jillian Deri |
More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory |
Franklin Veaux |
My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory |
Cooper S. Beckett |
The Myth of Monogamy: Fidelity and Infidelity in Animals and People |
David Philip Barash |
Not Your Mother’s Playground: A realistic guide to honest, happy, and healthy open relationships |
Samantha Fraser |
Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage |
Jenny Block |
The Open Relationship Handbook: Basic Tips and Tools for Navigating Non-Monogamy |
Kat L. Stewart |
Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships |
Tristan Taormino |
Playing Fair: A Guide to Nonmonogamy for Men into Women |
Pepper Mint |
The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families |
Elisabeth Sheff |
Polyamory in the 21st Century: Love and Intimacy with Multiple Partners |
Deborah Anapol |
Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits: Secrets of Sustainable Intimate Relationships |
Deborah M. Anapol |
Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy |
Jessica Fern |
Power Circuits: Polyamory in a Power Dynamic |
Raven Kaldera |
Redefining Our Relationships: Guidelines for Responsible Open Relationships |
Wendy-O Matik |
Sex From Scratch: Making Your Own Relationship Rules |
Sarah Mirk |
The Smart Girl’s Guide to Polyamory: Everything You Need to Know About Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Alternative Love |
Dedeker Winston |
Spiritual Polyamory |
Mystic Life |
Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Uncommon Love and Life |
Amy Gahran |
Stories From the Polycule: Real Life in Polyamorous Families |
Elisabeth Sheff |
Swinging in America: Love, Sex, and Marriage in the 21st Century |
Curtis R. Bergstrand |
When Someone You Love Is Polyamorous: Understanding Poly People and Relationships |
Elisabeth Sheff |

Photo by Janko Ferlič on Unsplash
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